Every time I get my period: Wow no okay that was not a month.
does anyone else accidentally stare at a boys penis when hes wearing pants
(via exhaustinq)
“we accept the infinite we think we swear in this moment”
(Source: bobbymoynihan, via tumbloler)
if you eat a chicken and egg sandwich, you’re basically eating one thing at different times of its life
like when you eat a baby and an elderly person at the same time.
(via ifollowgreatblogs)
tiptoeing is so weird MY TOES CAN HOLD MY BODY wow
(via fadeddcolors)
i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
(via novembe-r)
teacher: where's your homework
me: where's leonardo dicaprio's oscar
99% sure my neighbors have seen me naked through my window at least 20 times
(via novembe-r)
white dad in any movie: but son, you're throwing away your DREAM
white son in any movie: no dad, I'm throwing away ~yours~
